I’d like to meet the author of the beauty moles
under my mothers eyes,
The one from whom she inherited her sweetness, her grace and laugh lines
I’d have all sorts of questions
Like did romantic movies make you cry?
And how did you live through the 50s with all that patriarchy and male pride?
Grandma,
did you find being a woman really tough?
The egoism, sexism and racism must have
been rough.
Grandma,
what did you do when you became weary and tired of it all?
Who wiped your face and gave you encouragement in those times when you felt small?
Grandma what about pregnancy?
I have to admit that I’m scared.
Because the thought of going through childbirth,
Is one of my biggest fears.
Grandma,
Do you ever think about me,
And wonder who I am?
Whether your daughter had her own daughters
And whether their lives are going to plan?
Grandma,
I wish you could have stayed alive for much longer,
A dynamic and beautiful spirit such as yours would have surely made her stronger
She needed you Grandma,
to face this worlds cruelties and wet blows
A hug, a kiss, a prayer from you
Would have helped during those lows
I miss you grandma,
even though we haven’t formally met
I gaze at your picture on some days
And tear up to know you’ve left
Grandma, if you can hear me
Know that you are remembered
I didn’t know you
But from what your sisters tell me
We’re connected through our resemblance,
Two women that love dressing up and delight over jewellery
Two brainy women that love fiercely
and watch out for life’s beauty.
I love you Grandma
And this talk has been a balm for my soul
It felt like you were sitting next to me
Reassuringly warm and ready to console,
I hope you don’t mind Grandma
if I seek you out from time to time
We’re forever bonded
Through memory and family, you and I
The author of my mother’s beauty moles
Under her eyes.
The woman with the beauty spot on her chin,
Just like mine.
Musings of Rai 